|MEXICO CITY, 3/28/2001
Despite Government demands that "No negotiations will proceed with anyone wearing a sock on his head," the Mexican Congress today received the ski-masked commanders from the Ejercito Zapatista de Revolucion Nacional. (*)
With the visit to congress the rebels from Chiapas achieved the final goal of their month long, 2000 mile bus tour through southern Mexico. The tour was known as the 'Zapatour' and was accompanied by thousands of Mexican, and foreign volunteers. Several of the foreigners deserted the tour, however, when informed that the caravan was devoted to pursuing basic rights for Mexico's Indigenous populations, and not a Frank Zappa Tour.
In related news, a small militia of gray haired men that seized control of the U.S. Government last December continue to maintain their control and forge ahead with their radical right wing agenda. This week alone, the militia scored several triumphs, blocking environmental regulations, giving tax breaks to the rich, and peeling away basic protections for American workers.
The rebel's are lead by a charismatic and mysterious 12 year old boy, trapped in a man's body (*). The militia's leader, who goes by the moniker 'W,' gave comments on the appearance of the Zapatista's before Mexico's congress.
"At first the President was scared, he thought it was a robbery" stated Vice President Dick Cheney. "Once he understood everything was OK, he said he 'liked Halloween,' and that he wanted his own mask." Some have commented that a white hood, with a pointy top might suit militia leader "W" quite well.
AMERICA DEALS WITH A DIFFERENT BAND OF REBELS SEIZING CONTROL